My name is Becca and all my life I dreamed of living in Portland and working for the FBI. When I was 25, my dream came true. I was living with a good friend in the city of Portland, I was hired with the FBI and was living my dream life.
That’s when everything changed.
First, I met a guy (it always starts with that, doesn’t it?). He was handsome and charming and I fell in love. The only problem was that he was a Physician Assistant in the Air Force and knew he would be moving soon.
Flash forward six months, we were married, had our orders, and were leaving our comfortable, beautiful, fit life in the Pacific Northwest — not to mention all of our family and friends — to settle in Sherwood, Arkansas. Never heard of it? That’s okay. Neither had we.
There were a lot of things I had to get used to about this new life. I was used to being really active and healthy and suddenly I was in a place where it felt difficult to do that.
Let’s just say it was an adjustment.
To change things up even more, after one very short year of marriage, we got the surprise of our life. I was pregnant. Not only was this not the plan, this was the opposite of the plan.
My plan was to be living in Portland, working for the FBI, hanging out at night having happy hour with our friends. Now here I was, pregnant and waddling down to the closest Sonic — the only happy hour in town.
One of the most difficult parts about this season was how much my confidence suffered. I had always seen myself as a strong, courageous and brave woman. Take away my job, my family, my friends, my community, my comforts, and I was a mess.
When my daughter was born I fell in love all over. I wanted to be confident and a good mom for her but I just felt like something was missing.
What was wrong with me?
I still loved my husband. I loved my daughter. And although it had taken time, I loved where we were in life, even if it wasn’t my first choice.
Here’s what I’ve learned. Joy is not found in circumstances.
And when life is changing so fast — your body is changing, your career is changing, your location is changing, your routine is changing, and your whole world revolves around your little ones, it’s so easy to lose track of who you are.
And let me say that I am not the world’s most confident mom. In fact, this blog is about my journey to find confidence. But as I’ve struggled to find my own confidence, I’ve learned confidence is really about three things:
1. Getting healthy and being confident in your physical body
2. Not letting go of your passions and dreams
3. Giving the best of yourself to your family and to others
I believe confidence is something we work hard to develop. This has been a lifelong journey for me. But I will keep fighting for confidence and sharing my story with you so you can fight for confidence, too.
I want to spread the word that moms who are struggling are not alone. You are not alone. You are not the only one who struggles to find joy and confidence in motherhood.
We’re in this together. Thanks for joining me.