I felt unfulfilled as a stay at home mom. Period.
How could this be? I was doing what I was designed to do. Right? You know, bear children and raise them? But I couldn’t figure out why I was so unsatisfied. I worked really hard at being a good mom and wife.
You know the bit.
Storytime, clean house, good homemade healthy dinners, clean clothes, playing with my daughter, asking my husband questions, and so on. But something in my mind said I needed more.
It didn’t feel like a lack of contentment, it felt like a drive, a passion to do more.
Then it hit me one day.
I actually didn’t even know the answer until it came out of my mouth. I was on a good long run with a sweet friend. She is an RN, currently training to become a nurse practitioner. She is married, my age, and does not have children.
She was conflicted because she wants to have kids but also wants to work part time.
The problem was that she felt like she would be judged by our stay-at-home-mom-culture if she did both. I was bothered by her dilemma. It just didn’t seem right.
So when I opened my mouth these words came pouring out.
“Girl I think you are right on with your desire to work. I think we are made to work. And work hard. Think about it, back in the day women used to have to work in fields gathering their food and bringing it home. Then they had to work hard to prepare it for their family.
“Now all we have to do is drive to the grocery store and a meal is ready ten minutes after we get home. I bet so many stay at home moms are not satisfied because they are not working hard at something. I think it would be great if you worked part time once you had kids. It would be the best of both worlds. You could use your gifting as a nurse to help people and also raise a family.
“You wouldn’t have to sacrifice one or the other.”
I hadn’t thought of it that way until I said it. I think it was an “aha” moment for me.
And please don’t think I am saying that stay at home moms don’t work hard. It is really really hard. But what I am saying is that we need to work hard at home.
This means exercise because we don’t work in the fields all day. And this means being purposeful because working hard at home looks different for everyone. Sometimes this looks like having one kid, keeping a clean house, and having nutritious meals for your family.
Other times it looks like raising 5 kids and helping them become responsible, obedient and respectful children.
Other times this looks like getting a job you can do from home so you can be with your kids even though your laundry piles are a mile high.
Or it could look like being a part time nurse practitioner and raising a family.
For me, it means seeing my work at home as valuable, doing my best each day, but also pursuing my own health by exercising, eating well, and working on this blog…
So my question is this:
Are you working hard at something as a mom? If not, what drives you? What are you passionate about? Pursue something you are good at and work hard at it.